Thoughts on Thanksgiving

I know, know...it's yesterday's news!  Thanksgiving was Thursday, Friday was Black Friday, Shabbat was Shabbat, and now we're in a whole new week.  But I didn't post something about Thanksgiving last week, so perhaps you'll indulge me...

I didn't post, because I was on the road with my daughter, Ma'ayan, visiting friends for the holiday.  The friends happen to live in Las Vegas, and since I'd never been there in my life (incredible as that may sound), we decided to sample life on The Strip including a couple of the famous Las Vegas shows.

At one of the latter, Olivia Newton-John's Summer Nights show at the Flamingo, we were seated at a table with a Canadian gentleman and got to talking with him before the show.  Of course, Thanksgiving is a holiday unique to the USA; Canadians do not celebrate it along with us.  Our tablemate was curious about the American custom of travelling home to celebrate it with family.  Is it considered an important imperative?  Canadians do likewise on Christmas; do Americans also do it then?

I told him that, as we're Jewish, we just let Christmas go by quietly.  But my impression regarding fellow Americans who are not Jewish is that Thanksgiving is more for extended family, while Christmas is more for travelling (to someplace warm, unless you're a fanatic Coloradoan who insist on heading to the slopes for Christmas skiing).

(By the way, I did resist the instinct to make a joke about Jews eating Chinese food on Christmas, and therefore open that chestnut.  Although it worked well for Elena Kagan at her confirmation hearing for US Supreme Court Justice, our Canadian tablemate was an ethnic Chinese and I didn't want to risk inadvertently insulting him somehow.  After all, in addition to sharing a table with us, he was also a guest in our country...)

Thanksgiving is generally considered a 'secular' holiday in every way, one that can bridge the many gaps that divide Americans.  Personally, I'm not sure that has been the case for a long time.  The last time I celebrated it with American expats in Australia, someone (in this case, the evening's host) chose to explain the holiday to the non-Americans at the table with the revisionist, we shared the Indians' turkey, then we committed genocide against them rap.  But these alternative histories, and people's advocacy of them at Thanksgiving table notwithstanding, the holiday has always been considered a time to put aside various ideologies and just enjoy one another's company while reveling in G-d's graciousness.  This year, however, Lefty sore losers have been instructed repeatedly by the ideologue political leaders to refuse to share fellowship with any of those evil Trump voters whose poor choice denied Hillary Clinton the Presidency which she so richly deserved.  A number of prominent Conservative talk show hosts have dedicated time in the weeks since the election to the topic of helping their listeners navigate this potential problem.

I decided to approach it head-on.  Looking around the table where we were so graciously hosted, I referred to the issue and then said: "Just to clear the air...there aren't any f**king Democrats at this table, are there?"

(It was meant as a joke, offered knowing that the family with whom we were sharing the meal were pure red.)

Jokes aside, it is unfortunate that Thanksgiving has become parochialized over time, first with revisionist narratives and then with political hard feelings.  It truly is, at the end of the day, a holiday whose message we all need - from which we can all profit.

And that message is...e pluribus, unim.  That in our diversity we can find oneness.  That the uniqueness of each individual should not be a stumbling block to our finding common groundd.  And that, finding common ground, we should celebrate it.

I'm guessing that it will be a while before I'm in the USA for Thanksgiving again.  But you can guess that I'll be combing the stores in Israel for all the ingredients for the meal. (How to make a pareve green bean casserole?  I'll be experimenting with that one...)  And tuning up the ukulele to play and sing 'Alice's Restaurant.'  And enjoying a meal in the shadow of G-d's blessings with friends and family, American expats or not.

And now, I must make last-minute preparations for my trip to Israel.  I fly to Newark tomorrow morning, and from there to Ben Gurion on Tuesday afternoon.  I'll arrive in Israel, G-d willing, on Wednesday morning.  I hope to be awake enough to post some thoughts soon afterward!

Getting On With Life; a Thought for Parashat Chayei Sarah

Burial of Sarah; woodcut by Gustav Dore

Many years ago, I lived in Greece, as I was stationed there during my service in the US Navy.  An unavoidable part of the visual landscape there, is the many older women who perpetually wear black.  This is the widow’s dress; when a woman has been widowed – and due to a combination of men marrying women younger than themselves, and women’s longer life expectancies, there are few widowers – she puts on black clothing and dressed in that manner for the rest of her life.  It is supposed to be a badge of honor, a visual reminder of the widow’s respected and protected status.

In this week’s Torah reading, in Parashat Chayei Sarah, Abraham buries his wife Sarah and then immediately afterward sets to the task of finding a wife for his son, Isaac.  This models the principle of paying due respect to the dead, of working through the grief one experiences from the loss, and then getting on with life.  In modern Jewish funerary practice, once widowed a man is allowed – some would say, expected – to marry again once the thirty days’ period of mourning has passed.  For a woman, it can be a bit longer; if she is capable of bearing a child, she should wait until there’s no possibility that she is pregnant by her dead husband.  That way, any child born will not face an uncertain patrimony.  The reasoning behind the allowance to re-marry quickly is that one should not have to bear life without the companionship of a wife or husband.  Whether for a spouse, a sibling or even one’s child, Jewish law mandates a 30-day period of mourning.  Then life should continue, as much as possible, in the face of the loss.  One returns to one’s business and other obligations. 

(For a parent, there are aspects of mourning that continue for a year – this out of respect for the person who gave you life and raised you to adulthood.)

There is no shortage of examples of those who cannot seem to return to a sense of normalcy after their loss.  Especially after the death of one’s child.  There is no denying that having to bury one’s offspring represents a complete overturning of the expected order of things.  I have known people who have lost a child and have never recovered, no matter how many years pass.  Even if the ‘child’ was sixty when survived by their parent.  I have learned over time that there is nothing I can say or do, to ease the pain that accompanies such a loss.  The only thing that a rabbi, or a friend or relative can do is be present for that person.

In Abraham’s case, returning to life after his loss meant seeing to the task of finding a wife for Isaac.  In this case, he delegated the task to his trusted servant Eliezer.  He dispatched the servant to Haran, the city from which he had begun his quest for Canaan, to find a wife from among his father’s relatives.

In Near Eastern cultures, it is common, and considered preferable, to marry within one’s family.  Jewish law permits marrying a first cousin.  Abraham at this point is living among idolatrous Canaanites.  Even if his family back in Haran are also idolaters, at least they are family.  Today, of course, it is unusual among most groups of Jews to marry such a close relative.  This is in recognition of the benefit of ‘widening the gene pool’ to reduce the chances of genetic disorders.

That Abraham chose to end his mourning with the specific task of finding and securing a wife for Isaac, makes it especially clear that he was making a statement about putting his life back on track in the face of his loss.  Later, once Isaac and Rivka are married, Abraham himself marries his second wife, Keturah, and has five more children.

It is important to properly mourn and pay respect to those who have gone on to the next world.  And part of the mourning process is to return to a normal life, as much as it is possible, without an undue delay.  This is an important way that we show our faith in the redeeming aspect of life.

Thoughts on Moving to Israel

Last week – it was Wednesday, as a matter of fact, the day after the election – I took my bicycle to a local shop to have it boxed for shipping to Israel.  When I explained what I was doing, two people in the shop smirked about my leaving the country as soon as Mr. Trump was elected.  I didn’t feel obligated to explain to these perfect strangers that I was actually happy about the election results.  But I began to reflect on the fact that my decision to live in Israel has confused some of my friends.  After all, I have spent 28 years of my life in the service of the United States, wearing the uniforms of the US Navy and Air Force.  I thought an explanation of this new development was warranted.

My first trip to Israel was in 1987, right after the loss of the EA-3B ‘Ranger 12’ off the USS Nimitz.  I was sent to the USS JFK for a planned operation that, by the time I reached the ship from my station in Athens, Greece, was cancelled so that the ship made a port visit in Haifa the day after I arrived on board.  Not long afterward, I took my first personal trip to Israel as a tourist.  Of course I was instantly enchanted as many diaspora Jews are when they first visit Israel.  I could speak decent Hebrew and therefore found myself able to experience the land on a deeper level than the typical tourist.

In 1991, having left the Navy to study to become a rabbi, I found myself returning to Israel:  this time to live and study in Jerusalem for a year.  During the course of the year, I became engaged to, and Married, my wife Clara who is a native Israeli.  Although she would have been happy to remain in Israel and for me to complete my studies and pursue a career there, at the time I preferred to return to the US, finish school, and then serve as a military chaplain.  She agreed to follow me wherever my calling took me, while saying – and reminding me periodically since – that her heart would always be in Israel.

In the summer of 2015, our son Eyal made Aliyah (ie, became an immigrant), specifically out of a desire to serve in the Israeli Army.  He is now completing the first year of that service.

As our time in Australia wound down, I decided that this would be a good time for us to finally make the move to Israel.  With our son there, and with Clara’s mum getting on in years – my mother passed away recently – perhaps it would be a good time to relocate.  Although I did – and do – feel the pull of living in the USA also, I decided to go live in Israel.

So the personal decision had little to do with ideology.  But since you asked about ideology…

I do not believe that every Jew should feel obligated to live in Israel.  Many do, and some of those actually take the big step of Aliyah (immigration).  It is not an easy decision to implement.  Many of these olim (immigrants) eventually return to their countries of origin as it isn’t easy to establish oneself in a new country.  But many persevere, and find that their lives in Israel are totally satisfying – not least, from a standpoint of Jewish religious life which is ingrained into the rhythms of life there.

I do believe that every Jew should feel obligated to be connected with Israel through visiting, cultivating relationships with Israelis, and activism on the Jewish state’s behalf.  For some Jews, these activities lead to a decision to make Aliyah, and for others they do not.

Jews of most nationalities can establish Israeli citizenship without giving up citizenship in their country of birth.  That’s certainly true of Americans.  There are approximately 200,000 US citizens living in Israel.  Most maintain strong ties with the US through family, friends, commerce, and political activity such as voting in US elections.  In the city where I’ll be living, Ashkelon, there is a lively English-speaking community, many of which are olim from America.

Throughout my rabbinate, I have been teaching the principle that every Jew should be connected to Israel.  Of course, thanks to family ties, I’ve not found it difficult to establish and maintain such a connection.  Now my making Aliyah, while motivated more by family concerns than ideology, fits in well with the ideology that I’ve been propounding for 20 years.  Let the adventure begin!

Not-so-random Thoughts a Week After the 'Tsunami'

Violent demonstrations follow Trump victory

It was a long campaign:  brutally long!  No, it wasn’t any longer than any other presidential election campaign in recent decades.  But it seemed longer.  And to be honest, one reason it seemed longer and more grueling this time was the anger and frustration of many voters.  The anger and frustration among a conservative constituency that propelled Donald Trump to the Republican nomination and ultimately the presidency.  And the anger and frustration among a liberal constituency that ‘almost’ denied the Democratic nomination to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  It was a campaign that saw many voters on the Right backing Mr. Trump because they saw him as the Lesser of Two Evils, and many voters on the Left backing Secretary Clinton because they saw her as the Lesser of Two Evils.  Voting for the Lesser of Two Evils in an election is nothing new.  What seemed new this time was the passion with which voters backed the one whom they saw as the lesser of two evils.  That such a huge block of American voters passionately backed a Lesser-of-Two-Evils candidate, shows that they see their country as mortally damaged, and saw this election as being a pivotal event in their hopes to roll back the damage before it becomes irreparable.

I have to say that Donald Trump was my Lesser-of-Two-Evils.  Of the 17 Republicans seeking the nomination at the beginning, for me he was among the three least favorites of the field.  It wasn’t that I saw him as the toxic, misogyinist-racist-antisemite-islamophobe that the Left-leaning mainstream media have tried to make him.  That’s a lot of nonsense.  Rather, that I wondered if his brash style, his tendency to speak extemporaneously in terms certain to offend many, and his complete lack of the government experience that would, by conventional measure translate to success in the nation’s highest office.  Personally, I was routing for Marco Rubio.  But as Rubio and others fell by the wayside, it became apparent that the Republican voters wanted Trump to represent them in the race for the White House.  To me, Trump seemed far preferable to either Hillary Clinton, or Bernie Sanders – as if he ever had a chance.

But along the way, a couple of things happened that made me see Trump in a more favorable light.

First, it became clear that what he was saying, and what the Left and its media allies asserted that he was saying, were often two different things.  If one watched the actual footage of Trump with an open mind, it was easy to see that the criticisms of what he’d said usually didn’t ring true.

Second, members of the Republican ‘establishment’ began turning against him.  I don’t mean his opponents in what had turned into a long, soften-nasty campaign for the Republican nomination.  I mean other prominent Republicans such as Mitt Romney, George H.W. Bush, and some in the conservative media including the editors of the highly-respected National Review.  When they began vocally opposing Trump – even after he had won the nomination and was now, like it or not, the party’s standard-bearer – it lent more credence to something that Trump and many of his supporters had been saying from the start.  That the Republican establishment really had more in common, in terms of its power bases, with the Democratic Party’s own establishment, then either had in common with their respective constituencies.  And this was at the root of the upheavals that were happening in both parties; this sense that both parties' power centers had no particular concern for the individual voter. 

To most Americans – whether they be Democrats, Republicans or independents – last Tuesday’s election was seen as having been quite decisive.  Trump won 306 Electoral College votes as opposed to Clinton’s 232.  Additionally, although Clinton was initially seen as having won the popular vote by about 400,000, as late mail-in’s are counted it appears that Trump has also won the popular vote:  by over half a million.  Therefore, most Americans of various political persuasions have accepted the election’s results and now look forward to seeing what the 45^th President will be able to achieve.  And the bar is high, given that he will control both houses of Congress.

But the riots that have broken out in various US cities since the election, protesting that the vote went the way it did, do not bode well for the hope that the country will now unite and move forward.  On the other hand, there is ample evidence that these riots are not the spontaneous outbursts of political passion that the media paint them as.  In newspapers and online lists such as Craig’s List in cities all over the land, adverts for young people to join the riots – with pay! – are attracting those looking for an adventure and a bit of cash.  And those ads are being traced back to a for-profit auxiliary of Planned Parenthood, and the organization moveon.com.  And when you think of it, that’s no surprise given that the President-elect and the new Republican Congress have made on of their early goals…taking Planned Parenthood off the federal dole.  It is therefore in Planned Parenthood’s interest to destabilize the new administration before it even takes office.  But there is something far more powerful than Planned parenthood and moveon.com behind the whole thing.  Since I'm not a conspiracy-monger, I'll leave speculation to others, but it is easy to smell something large and sinister there.

The rioters aside, there are certainly many sincere Americans who are disappointed in the election’s results.  I would recommend that they quiet down, understand that the sky isn’t falling, and see what happens in the near future.  As I said, I’m optimistic even though Mr. Trump was far from my first choice.  I’m ready to give him time to put together an administration and begin the tough work of tackling America’s problems.  But please President-elect Trump, don’t take too much time!  And somehow, I don’t think he will.

Bargaining with G-d: a Thought for Parashat Vayera, Genesis chapter 18

Last week I referred to Abraham's 'bargaining with G-d' in this week's Torah reading.  We see it in chapter 18 of Genesis, from verses 16 through 33.  G-d decides to tell Abraham that He is about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gemorrah because of their grievous sins.  He decided to tell Abraham not to consult with him, but because He has chosen Abraham and his offspring to come, for a special blessing to bring tzedakah (often translated 'charity') and mishpat (translated 'justice') to the world.  Some of the classical commentators believe that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, specifically, is that they forbid the offering of hospitality to famished strangers, who end up dying surrounded by affluent inhabitants who then, after the travelers have starved to death, rob their corpses of any valuables.  In other words, they behave in a way that is the polar opposite of the way we have just seen Abraham behave in the beginning of this chapter when he rushes to offer hospitality to three angels disguised as passers by.

Although G-d was informing Abraham of what he was about to do, not consulting with him, Abraham immediately began to try to dissuade G-d from his sentence against the two cities.  Reasoning that a Just G-d would not destroy the Good with the Evil, through a conversation that sounds like a Middle Eastern shopper negotiating price with a shopkeeper, Abraham bargains with G-d to the point where Hashem agrees that He would not destroy the cities if ten good men could be found.  Having reached that point, Abraham walks away, thinking he has secured the safety of the cities, but he hasn't at all.

Our tradition does not see this bargaining as a sign of disrespect on Abraham's part.  In fact, it views Abraham's having expressed his concern for the good people who might be found in Sodom and Gomorrah, to his merit.  Several of the commentators contrast this concern with Noah's apparent lack of concern; when G-d revealed to Noah that He was going to destroy the world and all thereon, Noah simply turns-to to build the Ark and save himself and his family.  (Genesis 6:13-22)  Some people of faith look at the notion of bargaining with G-d as anathema.  For example, Mahatma Ghandi famously stated:  "A man of faith does not bargain or stipulate with G-d."  And this describes Noah's action:  Noah did not bargain with G-d, but simply accepted His decree.  But Abraham, in contrast, took G-d to task, albeit respectfully, indicating a greater concern as well as a compassion for others.

From this we learn the important lesson that it is important to have compassion for others, and to work on their behalf, even when they are wicked and we ultimately cannot save them from the consequences of their wickedness.

Yer Outta Heah! Lech Lecha, Shabbat 11/12 November 2016

The first distinctive words in this week's Torah portion, Lech Lecha (Genesis 12:1 - 17:27) are hard to translate precisely.  Most English translations of the Torah render it 'go for yourself' or 'go for your own sake.'  In a more archaic translation, it might come out as 'go thou.'  I personally  prefer something more emphatic, and perhaps less articulate, like: 'Yer outta heah!'

So, why do I prefer a more emphatic call, such as a baseball umpire would growl to the batter who has just struck out?  Perhaps baseball is simply on my mind with the Chicago Cubs' World Series victory fresh in memory.  Or perhaps, I just think that the various, more-articulate renditions simply don't capture the tenor of the Divine imperative.

Although negotiations between Abraham and Hashem are not unknown - in next week's portion, Abraham will famously negotiate to assuage G-d's wrath upon the people of Sodom and Gemorrah - in Lech Lecha there is no hint of option.  Abraham is chosen for this task, this mission, and he has no option to refuse.  There have been other figures in scripture who tried to refuse G-d's imperatives - Jonah comes to mind, and where did that get him?  Into the belly of a fish!  So when Hashem commands Abraham to get himself out of his homeland, the land where he is most comfortable, it is certainly not a request.  Yer outta heah!  The command is clear and binding.

Most of us have never heard such a clear, unequivocal voice commanding us in such an unambiguous manner.  We have to wade through various layers of ambiguity to decide for ourselves whether the instruction is Divine, or simply in our own minds.  Of course, any time one thinks he is being commanded by G-d, one must test it against the Torah.  G-d would not command us to do something that contravenes the Torah.  That would make it unambiguously not Divine.  But beyond that condition, there is a lot of territory.  For example, I once had a friend who thought G-d was calling her to a prophetic office.  But she didn't read a word of Hebrew.  How can one be called to prophesy G-d's word, when one cannot even read it?

Instead, when we think we hear G-d's voice calling us in some way, we must use our intellect and best sense to test the call.

In my life, I have thought I felt G-d's calling a number of times.  Was it truly a Divine imperative, or was it what I thought I wanted to hear?  I cannot tell you for sure from this side of the World-to-Come.  But I do know that w are often called in a way that will take us out of our comfort zone, in order to stretch and achieve.  And I think this is an important lesson from Lech Lecha.  Just as Abraham - who, at that point in his life was still Abram - needed to get out of his comfort zone and take a big risk, so to are we often called in ways that will by necessity take us into uncomfortable territory.

When we receive a calling, even if it necessarily takes us out of our comfort zones, may we have the courage to respond and step forward.  That's one absolutely necessary step, if we're to do great things.  Shabbat shalom.

I Love It...but am Leaving It

No, no, I'm not one of those people who has been threatening to leave the USA should Trump be elected.  On the contrary, I personally voted for him and and happy with the results of the election.  The very idea of idea of threatening to leave the country if the election result you've hoped for doesn't happen, let alone actually contemplating it with any seriousness before or after, is simply the height of silliness.  After all, any presidency only lasts a maximum of eight years; and once it's over, there is usually a pendulum swing to the other side because our country is, after all, difficult to govern and most administrations go out with little popularity.

(Perhaps you'll read my last sentence and think, "Well, the Obama presidency certainly is different in that regard."  I disagree deeply, but that's not the subject of today's post.)

Actually, I'm leaving the USA DESPITE the election results, and DESPITE my deep love of America that led me to serve 28 in our armed forces.  On 29 November - really, just a few days from now - I'm going to board an El Al aircraft and fly to Israel:  not just for a holiday, but to begin my new life there.  For anyone familiar with the Aliyah process, it is obvious that this isn't a momentary lapse in judgement but has been in process for the better part of a year:  the bureaucratic process, that is, not to mention the internal thought and emotional processes that led to the decision to do it.

For anybody who knows Clara and me well, this should come as no surprise.  While Clara has agreed to follow me around the world over the last 25 years, she never made a secret of where she always preferred to live.  I know that many Israeli expats say that and never go back to live, but Clara has always been an expat 'somewhat' under duress.  She was always happy to be wherever we were at the moment, but her heart was always back home.  For my part, I've always maintained that I would be happy to return to Israel to live when the time would come that I would decide to call it a night from a 'conventional' career in the rabbinate.  Shortly after the start of the current year of 2016, it became clear that this might be the year.  I put the bureaucratic process in motion, and it turned out that it WAS indeed time to make this move.  Both Clara and I had some second thoughts when we returned to the USA from Australia in June and it looked as if another opportunity might be calling.  But the turn of personal circumstances in my life informed me that it was indeed time to move to Israel.

So, off we go!  Most of the pieces are in place:  the house in Colorado is under contract, and other loose ends are quickly coming together.  I'm excited and yes, a bit nervous about what I'll see, experience, and feel in the coming weeks.  But it is time to do it!

I guess this is quite a post to make public in a blog that has been quiet for so many weeks.  If you know about my personal situation over the months since we returned to the USA, then you'll understand; there has been so much turmoil that as often as I tried to sit down and write something, I just didn't have the heart.  I pray that now the
words will pour forth with more ease.  Thanks for reading, and for sharing the journey with me!