Davar Acher (an Additional Thought) on Parashat Miketz

This from yesterday's drash by my Rabbi, Gustavo Surazski at Kehillat Netzach Yisrael here in Ashqelon.  For me - and most present in the congregation tht morning - it represents an  important huddush, a new way to look at the text.  I thought I'd share it, giving credit where it's due...

What's the connection between Pharaoh's dreams - and the failure of everybody in Egypt except for Joseph, the Hebrrew slave, to understand them - and Hanukkah?  There must be a logical connection, since the Shabbat in Hannukah is always the Shabbat on which we read the portion Miketz.  Both the destruction of Egypt had it not prepared for the coming famine, and the defeat of the Syrian army by the Jewish guerrillas, represented failures by rulers who saw themselves as nothing short of gods. Not only could Pharaoh and Antiochus not see their respective looming failures, none of their advisors could either - or if they could, they lacked the courage to tell their boss, whom they expected would not appreciate the insight and would shoot the messenger.  When a king or ruler sees himself as invincible, he cannot accept that something 'smaller' than his might could defeat him.  

This is your erstwhile blogger's additional thought:  beyond the above juxtaposition, we see throughout the sweep of history how autocrats and other absolute rulers have seen their downfall, simply because they thought they were gods and therefore, invincible.  As an example, remember how Hitler's general staff counselled him that he was far overextended and in danger of losing the war?  He was so incensed at the notion that he would be other than victorious, that he purged the messengers.  

Because most of these kings and dictators at infused by a tremendous sense of hubris and lack of fear of G-d which leads them to perform dispicable acts, it is to the world's benefit that they cannot accept moderating counsel and thus step into their own downfall.  The Pharaoh of the Joseph narrative, was apparently cut from different cloth.  Once someone - in the person of Joseph - had the courage to tell him the truth, he was humbled and accepted the counsel, and then asked further advice which he welcomed.

Nu, a good week everybody!  Happy civil New Year!  

The Uselessness of the ‘Yes Man’: A Thought for Parashat Miketz, 31 December 2016

During the time when I was stationed at Ramstein Air Base in Germany, we had a very quirky Commander In Chief, US Air Forces Europe (USAFE), a four-star General who, since our base was the seat of the command, lived in our neighborhood.  He terrorized the command in various ways, and since he lived on our base we at Ramstein always seemed to get the worst of it.

I lived in base housing, and at one point I was informed that I was being assigned to be Building Captain.  Why me??!  There were officers senior to me living in the building.  And then one of them told me candidly why he’d schemed to avoid the duty; the General drove right past our building several times a day when going between his quarters and his office, and if something about the building wasn’t absolutely shipshape – no matter what time of the day or night he had passed by – the Wing Commander would be standing before the general within the day and therefore, the building captain before the Wing Commander shortly thereafter (since poo-poo rolls downhill).  So what did I do?  I used my own dodge – I was a chaplain, and was by regulation and tradition not supposed to be in a command position – to avoid the dreaded duty.

So far, all I’ve described is a quirky guy who still is not doing anything ‘wrong,’ apart from driving his subordinates just a bit crazy.  But at least one time, the General went over the line.  He had a pique for the Colonels on his staff; I do not know exactly what his complaint was, but it was apparently for all his Colonels.  So one would think that he would gather them all behind closed doors and tell them of his displeasure, explaining why he was displeased, and how he expected them to rectify the situation.  But instead, he ordered all his Colonels to send their wives to his conference room, where he proceeded to tell them why he was upset with their husbands.  When I heard this – the chaplain Colonel who was the Command Chaplain, and was therefore part of this group, told me about it – I couldn’t believe it!  A bunch of Colonels…one would think that such a senior officer would have the backbone to respectfully point out to the General that he had no authority to order his Colonels’ wives into his conference room, and it wasn’t a very nice thing to do in any case.  But apparently all these Colonels sheepishly sent their wives to hear the General’s tirade.

The antics of the General in question finally reached HQ Air Force, and he was quietly retired.  Any of his Colonels could have helped him out by being direct and letting him know that he was courting trouble with his behavior.  Maybe the General would not have taken the counsel well and would not have changed his behavior.  But maybe, just maybe, he would have.  But the Colonels, who sound to me like spineless ‘yes men’ lost an opportunity to help their boss and, by extension, the Air Force.

This General also had a habit of making the command’s metrics his bedtime reading – much like King Ahashverosh reading the chronicles of the kingdom on sleepless nights.  One time in his insomnia he came across our chapel’s metrics:  how many hours we had spent the previous month providing various ministries.  (Each chaplain had to submit a report each month, and the entire chapel staff’s metrics were combined and submitted to USAFE through our Wing Commander.)  So on one sleepless weekend the General happened across the chapel’s metrics and, to him, they looked ‘too good.’  The next day, my boss, the Wing Chaplain was called into the Commander’s office to explain why he should not assumed that the metrics were ‘pencil whipped.’  In particular, the monthly numbers for ministrations to patients, seemed astronomically high to his eyes.

But my Colonel was not as spineless as some of his peers on the General’s staff.  He told his boss that he trusted the integrity of his chaplains, but he would talk to them and determine that we were reporting accurately.  Returning to the office, he called a meeting for all us chaplains and calmly asked us to explain how we tallied our figures.  We told him, and we assured him that we were reporting accurately.  He went back to the Wing Commander, explained how we generated our figures and expressed his confidence that we were indeed reporting accurately, and the Wing Commander (also a Colonel) went back to the General and insisted that he was seeing true figures.  The General accepted the feedback and didn’t bother us again about our metrics.  Because two Colonels, in contrast to the Colonels on the General’s staff were forthright and direct, eh General accepted the correction and backed down.

I guess this a rather long story to introduce a Torah portion, but it comes to mind to explain, in part, why Joseph achieved greatness.  Everybody was afraid of Pharaoh.  Why wouldn’t they be??!  In his capriciousness, he would arbitrarily imprison his servants and then decide on a whim what their fate would be – even execution!  We saw this in the account of the Cupbearer and the Baker, in last week’s parashah.  So when the Pharaoh was perplexed by his dream, the Torah tells us, none of his symbolists or advisors could provide an explanation.  Personally, I believe that they were afraid to stick their necks out, lest they be cut off by a Pharaoh who didn’t like their interpretation.

And then there was Joseph.  Taken from the dungeon where he’d been locked up for years, cleaned up and brought before Pharaoh, he was told the Pharaoh’s dreams and then ordered to interpret them.  It might be reasonable to think that Joseph spoke up because after all, what did he have to lose?  But because the Torah has already described Joseph’s character, we know that he responded in forthrightness and directness out of a conviction that G-d had given him the answer to Pharaoh’s dilemma, and would have Joseph respond forthrightly.  And Pharaoh, hearing Joseph’s interpretation, accepted it…and elevated Joseph to a high position in the land in order to carry out the second part of his forthright answer to the Pharaoh:  a recommendation concerning how to prepare for Egypt to survive the coming famine that was Joseph’s interpretation of the dreams.

Forthrightness is not without its attendant risks.  Had any of the USAFE Colonels spoken out in counsel to the General to tell him that he had crossed the line between a General’s true prerogative and a form of madness, the General might have tried to crush that Colonel.  But as my Wing Chaplain and Wing Commander found, when challenged directly to support their own subordinates, the General also might just back down.

All the Pharaoh’s trusted advisors were afraid to take the risk of telling him that bad times were prophesied by their leader’s dreams.  Surely at least some of them could see the message in the symbolism!  But not one spoke up.  Instead, a forthright Hebrew slave in Pharaoh’s dungeon had the courage to speak up.  By convincing the Pharaoh that he was correct, and having the courage to speak up, Joseph saved Egypt from the coming famine, placed himself in a high position, and placed himself to ultimately save his own family from starvation…as we will read when the Torah’s narrative continues to unfold!  Shabbat shalom.

Joseph is my Hero; a Thought for Parashat Vayeshev (Genesis 37:1 - 40:23) -

Forgive me for not blogging a thought for last week’s Torah portion.  We moved into our new apartment in Ashqelon, and it took until this week before we could get our internet hooked up.  But more on my continuing adventures in Israeli life in a separate post; in this one I’d like to write about Joseph, son of Jacob/Israel.

Every year, as the cycle of readings reaches the Joseph     

 portions towards the end of the book of Genesis, I get excited.  Joseph is hands down, my favorite personality in the Torah.  So, why do I like Joseph, and his narrative so much?

For one thing, Joseph epitomizes why the Torah feels like a living and true document to me.  He seems real.  He is talented.  He has greatness within him.  But at least for the first part of his life, he seems determined to prevent the greatness from manifesting itself.  He squanders it for a time by being full of himself.

As a child, he’s spoiled by his father’s favor and seems determined to make an ass of himself.  Dad doesn’t help:  sending his youngest son to check on his older brothers, on the assumption that Joseph will be happy to bring back any adverse report.  When my children were young and one wanted to give me an adverse report on the other, I would silence them with Don’t be a stukach!  ‘Stukach’ is a Russian word meaning ‘informer’; when I learned that word many years ago, I immediately liked its sound and thought it captures the loathsomeness of a tattletale much better than…well, ‘tattletale.’

So Daddy Israel gets some of the blame, but still…Joseph was all too happy to participate, especially given his dream of lording it over to his brothers.  And not to ‘blame the victim,’ but when his brothers throw him in the pit and sell him to the Egyptian slavers, it’s easy enough to think, he had it coming.

But as we know from the story, the experience and adversity brings out greatness in him.  He became obedient to G-d, and G-d brought success to all he did.  His Egyptian master, Potiphar, saw this and put him in charge of his household.  Unfortunately, this brought him to the attention of Potiphar’s wife who tried to seduce him.  But Joseph, by this time, was acting like the man he was destined to be and refused to betray his master’s trust.  His rejection of Mrs. Potiphar’s advances stings to the point where she denounces him to her husband, and that lands him in the Pharaoh’s dungeon.  But even under this adversity, he maintained his integrity.

In the weeks to come we’ll see Joseph’s story continue to unfold in ways that one would probably not have anticipated.  But for today, my lesson is that Joseph, as he develops his integrity, sees some of the greatness that he always knew was his destiny.  And even when he acts with integrity, he finds himself betrayed but he does not lose heart as he has found his inner man and hears the voice of G-d calling him to continue on.

How many heroes do we know of, who have maintained their integrity even under extreme duress?  They have lived, and in each generation one such hero serves to show us that, when adversity strikes, we need now sell our souls.  Most, facing their own particular adversity, will not find the strength to bear up.  But such heroes – like Joseph – teach us that it is possible and hopefully, provide the role models that will inspire each one of us so that when faced with adversity, G-d forbid, we won’t crack.

As we begin to read, once again, the story of Joseph, let’s take to heart this lesson.  G-d willing, none of us will face adversity of the terrible sort that Joseph faced.  But should that be our destiny, let us pray that we will find the way to face it and maintain our .

integrity as Joseph did.  Shabbat shalom.

Two Weeks on the Ground: Initial Impressions of Israeli Life

It’s almost hard to believe, but as of tomorrow I’ve been in Israel – as an immigrant! – for two full weeks.  I suppose that a post including some of my observations is a bit overdue.  I wrote a lengthy post on my old blog almost two years ago (http://rabbidoninoz.blogspot.co.il/2015/11/israel-hayom-today.html); I’ll try not to duplicate the things I published there.

Children's playground in a newer section
of Ashqelon on a Saturady (Shabbat) afternoon

Someone said something to me since my arrival, that reminded me of an early impression (25 years ago…could it be that long ago??!) and a friend’s reaction to my relating it.  We were talking about the old Tel Aviv bus station, which I mentioned in my 2015 post.  At that time, it was the active bus station.  I mentioned to my friend that, on arriving on a bus from the north to transfer to one going south to Gedera, I was initially shocked at the Third World quality of the landscape.  Yes, my friend chimed in.  We Jews have an image of Israel as a Switzerland on the Mediterranean; it’s often one’s first view of the Tel Aviv station that kills that notion!

Much more recently, I was talking with a veteran Israeli about the state of the country’s mass transport – the train system.  He opined that it ran quite well and was entirely satisfactory as long as one remembers that this isn’t Switzerland and doesn’t expect Swiss adherence in, for example, adherence to timetables.

No, this isn't Switzerland...but in Switzerland
one doesn't dine al fresco on wonderful Israeli
shwarma and shnitzel for lunch!  Yum!

The refrain this isn’t Switzerland is actually heard rather often in Israel, as if it explains and justifies the various ways that Israel can be chaotic and unpredictable.  It’s interesting, because although officially, relations between the two countries have generally been frosty, the two places actually have a lot in common.  For example, Israel’s citizen army was deliberately modelled after Switzerland’s (although talking to a Swiss once, years ago, I got a very vehemently negative reaction from him when I suggested as much).  They’re both small countries in a sea of larger, more powerful ones who have used their legendary smarts to protect themselves militarily, and to develop unique industry to outperform their neighbors.  That said, both countries have absorbed much of the cultures of those neighbors.  In Israel’s case, those neighbors are the nations of the Arab world.  So Israel resembles an Arab country – in appearance but also in certain attitudes – far more than she resembles an ‘orderly’ European country such as Switzerland.

I’ve spent more than a little time thinking to myself this isn’t Switzerland during the past two weeks as I’ve navigated the absorption process.  Please don’t read this as a complaint.  What other country has a specific cabinet-level ministry dedicated to the smooth absorption of immigrants?  And what other country offers a basket of benefits to help them through the process?  So if it doesn’t quite work with Swiss precision, I’m not complaining!

My time here has now included two Sabbaths.  Most newcomers to Israel tend to rhapsodize about the Sabbath here, and how peaceful it can be.  Even those who are not at all religious, tend to find themselves touched positively by this laziest of days.  But being a religious guy myself, I find it particularly delightful.

Displaying an almost-completed Torah scroll at
an evening educational session at Netzach
Yisrael.  The rabbi, Gustavo Surazski, is also
a qualified scribe!

Although the non-Orthodox streams of Judaism seem like afterthoughts to a Jew from North America where they dominate, Ashqelon does have a well-establish Masorti (Conservative) congregation.  I attended services there a couple of times, many year ago.  On more recent visits, I’ve tended to attend – if I do – at the (Orthodox) synagogue on Clara’s moshav, since we invariably stay at her parents’ home.  But this time, I decided that from the first Shabbat, I would attend at the Masorti congregation, Netzach Yisrael, in Ashqelon since I would undoubtedly make that my congregation while living in Ashqelon.

My experience to date has made me feel acquitted in that decision.  The two Sabbaths at Netzach Yisrael have been wonderful.  It is a very diverse congregation, with notable English-speaking and Spanish-speaking immigrant sub-groups. (The incumbent rabbi is himself an immigrant from Argentina.)  But there is also a group of veteran Israelis in the congregation.  And there’s an interesting sub-sub group, one of whose members celebrated a bar mitzvah this past Shabbat.  There are several large families of African-American converts to Judaism, who immigrated from the American Midwest (Chicago and St. Louis, I was told) and have become a fixture in Ashqelon.  At first glance, I thought they were Ethiopian Jews, who are well-represented in Ashqelon but whom I wouldn’t expect to see in a non-Orthodox shul.  But then I heard American accents!  So the congregation is truly multicultural in numerous layers.  But just as Israelis in general are an incredible hodgepodge of accents, skin tones and customs brought from their lands of origin, at the end of the day all the different Jews whom I’ve met at Netzach Yisrael have something important in common:  they are Jews who have decided to make their lives in the Jewish State.

I will write more as the weeks go by and my interactions with Israel broaden.  Tomorrow I’m going to navigate the Ministry of Education to talk about obtaining a teaching credential; I’ll surely have something to say about that experience in the coming days! 

Loss of a Dear Friend: Stan Lacey z"l

During our recently ended tenure in Australia, we certainly met our share of

characters.  And as is often the case, some of these characters were among the best people we’ve ever met.  Certainly an example of the latter was Stan Lacey, who passed away this Shabbat at the age of 92.

Stan was born in London. As a youth during the early days of the Second World War, he was sent north for safety during the Blitz.  He then went to the US, to Philadelphia where he had relatives, as a student.  The war continued; when he reached the requisite age, he volunteered to serve – in the US Army.  Be became an officer, a specialist in motor transport.  He spent the latter days of the war in the South Pacific, providing logistical support during the time when US forces were island-hopping their way towards the Japanese Home Islands.

After the war, he decided to remain in the army.  He eventually served also in Korea during the war there, and retired as a Major at about the time that the Vietnam War was starting to heat up.

After his retirement from the US Army, Stan moved to the Gold Coast, in Australia, where his parents had migrated.  He worked as a civil engineer and pointed with great pride to his role in rebuilding Darwin after a cyclone had flattened that city in the Northern Territory.  After returning to the Gold Coast, he continued to do civil engineering work but also kept busy by buying, upgrading and flipping residential properties during times of real estate boom.

By the time Clara and I met Stan, he was in his late eighties and retired.  He was a member of Temple Shalom, and was the sole surviving charter member in his final years.  He never made a big deal about it, though.  He immediately latched onto us in friendship because of our shared history of service in the US Forces.  Although Stan’s health wasn’t the greatest during the time that I knew him, he tried hard to be active and would participate – sometimes to great discomfort – in any and every worthwhile activity.

Stan Lacey had a kind of delightful, off-beat approach to life.  There’s a stereotype of soldiers as being akin to automatons, but Stan exhibited qualities that were closer to the more common reality, that of the soldier as being somewhat irreverent, with a lively sense of humor, and with an independent streak.  Rigid to the principles of unit discipline when the bullets are flying, yet always open to some way to get around some bothersome regulation at other times.

Stan was a team player who would go along with anything reasonable.  But if the actors crossed the lines of ethics, he would never go along – his independent streak would kick right in.  He was not one to make a big demonstration, to make noise and attract attention.  But if someone was doing something that was simply wrong, Stan would distance himself immediately from that person and what they were doing.  If you understood this about Stan, and he was loyal to you, you knew you were doing the Right Thing.

Probably Stan’s favorite War Story, very telling about the kind of man Stan was, was about how a new Colonel arrived at his base and interviewed all his subordinate officers.  Stan was the most junior Second Lieutenant in the unit.  The Colonel told him unabashedly that he had little love for enlisted men, blacks and Jews.  Stan looked the Colonel in the ey and told him, “Well, sir…I’m not black but I am Jewish and I was an enlisted man before I was commissioned.  So that’s two out of three.  But in addition, the troops in my company are all black, and I thinki they’re the finest soldiers in this man’s army.”  The Colonel looked down his nose at Stan and predicted that, as long as he was on that base, Second Lieutenant Lacey would never be promoted to First Lieutenant.  Some months later, while the Colonel was away on an extended absence, a friendly person in the headquarters company suggested to the acting commander that Lieutenant Lacey was overdue for promotion to First Lieutenant.  The commander made it so.  When the Colonel returned, Stan was delighted to happen to have some business that took him to the boss’ office on his first day back…  

His lack of ambiguity in proffering or withholding support is a rare quality, one that I cherish beyond measure.  I would therefore sit with Stan, listening raptly to his war stories even though I’d heard them numerous times before, because when you meet someone like him it is indeed a rare find, one to cherish.

Recently, I returned to Australia for the High Holy Days thanks largely to Stan’s sponsorship.  Although he lived very modestly, he was extremely generous to a good cause.  He wanted there to be an opportunity for Jews in the Gold Coast to attend services led by a progressive rabbi during the all-important days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, and he opened his wallet wide to make it happen.

I can’t fully express my sorrow:  not so much at Stan’s passing since he went peacefully after a very full and worthwhile life, but because I wasn’t able to be present for him in his final days.  Nevertheless, I take comfort that he was surrounded by family and friends who surely eased Stan’s way to the World to Come.  I look forward to meeting him there some day.  When he sees me, he will surely offer a humorous story about how he has managed to flaunt the rules in Olam Haba!t

The Power of Dreams - a Thought for Parashat Vaytezei

Just about everybody I know has, at one time or another, personally experienced the

power of dreams.  Either they dreamt something that gave them a window to their future.  Or they dreamt something that offered clarity on something that had been perplexing to them.  Or which enabled them to decide some important life issue with confidence.

I include myself among those who have benefitted from dreams.  Probably in all three ways I mentioned above.  There has been much literature on the phenomenon of dreams.  Psychologists frequently use dreams as a tool for understanding the inner person.

In the beginning of this week’s Torah reading, we see Jacob dream the ‘Jacob’s Ladder’ dream.  His mother, Rebecca, has sent him to travel back to Haran, to find a wife from among her people there.  But the most urgent reason he’d leaving the Land of Canaan, is that his brother Esau is of a mind to kill him.  This, after Jacob and Rebecca conspired to get the aged and feeble Isaac to give Jacob a blessing that he intended for the older twin, Esau.  Esau is angry to the point of fratricide.  Jacob is running for his life.

It’s understandably difficult for Jacob to see a future which includes the fulfillment of his father’s blessing when his powerful brother wants to kill him.  Jacob is therefore not only running for his life.  He wonders what shape his life, if spared, might possibly take.  Understandably, he wonders if he has any kind of future whatsoever.

Jacob’s dream shows him a ladder planted in the ground, stretching to the heavens.  Angels of G-d are ascending and descending.  In the dream, G-d Himself is standing over Jacob.  He promises that he will watch over Jacob wherever he roams, and that he will ultimately be restored to the land that was promised his ancestors.  G-d will be with Jacob and will protect him, and ultimately Jacob’s seed with be numerous and the other families of the earth will be blessed through the.

Some of the biblical commentators believe that the angels in the dream represent the other nations of the earth.  Their ascent and descent of the ladder shows that these nations will experience ascendency and decline.  Jacob will, at various times, by subjected to one nation of another.  But in the end he will prevail; he will achieve the greatness that is his destiny.

Jacob’s dream enables him to take heart and face the future with the confidence that things will work themselves out.  It gives him the strength to face whatever hardships may lie ahead.  And those hardships will come.  In the near future, Jacob will be deceived by his new father-in-law, Laban, who will trick him into marrying Leah instead of Rachel.  Then Laban’s sons will try to trick Jacob out of his due for the work he’ll have done for Laban for 14 years.  Then he’ll face his brother, who will still hold a grudge for Jacob’s past trickery.  Then he will see his sons fight bitterly.  And will think that his favored son Joseph will have been killed.  And will find Joseph yet live only in the context of a famine which threatens to wipe out the entire family, and will be reunited with Joseph only in the context of the entire family going into exile in Egypt.  Any one of these challenges should be enough to make Jacob give up and give in.  But this dream sustains him and enables him to continue to live and thrive through the various tragedies he will experience.

So too, our dreams can give us the strength to face whatever adversity comes our way.  And each one of us experiences adversity.  When we’re unhappy in our circumstances, we have a tendency to think that our troubles surpass everyone else’s.  We cry out – if we believe in G-d – Why me, G-d??!  In our misery, we can’t imagine that someone else is suffering as much as, or even more than, we.  But the truth is that there is always someone whose lot is worse.  For everybody who is sad because his shoes have holes, there is someone who is going around barefoot.  For everybody who goes around barefoot, there is some who cannot walk at all.  Our misery tends to blind us to those who suffer more bitterly.

But our dreams can help put things in perspective.  When we refuse to look at the bright side, our dreams can serve as a vehicle to bring us hope.  Or they can give us clarity that we have, but cannot see through our tears.  As long as we have the capacity to dream, we can see the potential for a postivie future.

May we always listen to our dreams and thus, take hope!  Shabbat shalom.

A Struggle Between siblings; a Thought on Parashat Toldot, Shabbat 3 December 2016

I have a brother who is a year-and-a-half older than me.  Throughout our childhoods, we competed in just about everything, but especially for our parents’ approval.  At the time, I thought there must be something wrong with us, for there to be this ‘dysfunction’ in our family.  Of course, as the years passed I realized that this competition made us just like virtually every other family in the realm!  These patterns of competitive behavior, which my mother, may she rest in peace, used to glibly refer to as ‘sibling rivalry,’ are a normal as can be.  In any case, I don’t think I’ve ever met a family with more than one offspring of the same sex, where there wasn’t some form of competition between them.

In this week’s Torah reading, we’re introduced to the ultimate competitive siblings.  Even in Rebecca’s womb, the twins who would come to be known as Esau and Jacob fought.  In other words, from conception there was an intense competition between them.

I’ve often said that one of the glories of the patriarchal narratives in the book of Genesis, is that it shows the patriarchal families to be so normal.  That, despite the greatness for which Abraham and his offspring through Isaac and Jacob were chosen, they are so incredibly ordinary in many ways.  And this is certainly one of the most important ways.  They struggle with the same impulses that we see as besetting our own families, in our day and age.

To me, an important lesson in this is that we can all achieve greatness, no matter what squabbles we fight with our siblings.  No matter what way our families, or ourselves, seem flawed and dysfunctional.  The variances in these dysfunctions are more matters of degree, than substantive.  We all struggle to allow our best selves to emerge and achieve.  In doing so, we sometimes step on one another’s toes and leave hard feelings behind.  But in doing so, we often teach one another profound lessons about abundance and the power to forgive.

Isaac and Rebecca’s twin sons, Esau and Jacob, are as different as night and day.  Although each develops his own unique personality, each also competes with his parents for their approval.  And both Isaac and Rebecca, favor one over the other because of their own unique personalities and preferences.  Jacob, the younger twin, will ultimately be chosen to inherit the blessing of Abraham.  But until then, we see Jacob constantly trying to escape from his powerful older brother’s shadow.

As my readers know, I’ve just moved to the State of Israel to make a life here.  Jews in the diaspora tend to lionize Israelis, to see them as being larger than life and heroic.  I don’t want to take away any of the merit of the Jews who live in our Holy Land, whose challenges in some ways surpass and make seem small the challenges we face in our various lands of comfort.  But the truth is that Israeli Jews possess the same kinds of foibles as people anywhere.  Both as individuals and as families.  I love Clara’s family.  They are a group of as open and loving people as you’ll find anywhere.  But they also have family dramas just like the rest of us.  And from that I take heart.  It means that I, too can succeed in living here.

I often point to the Torah’s depiction of virtually every protagonist in the unfolding drama of the Jewish people, as being in some important way flawed and normal.  From Adam and Eve to their sons Cain and Abel to Noah.  Abraham to his son, grandsons, and great grandsons.  Moses and his brother Aaron.  Virtually every individual involved in the narrative, faces their flaws and quirks.  This is on one hand, an important indicator that these were real people with real personalities.  And since they achieved great things, it leads me to take heart that each one of us, in our imperfections, is a worthy vessel to participate in the great and holy drama of the Jewish people.  Shabbat shalom.

Thoughts on Thanksgiving

I know, know...it's yesterday's news!  Thanksgiving was Thursday, Friday was Black Friday, Shabbat was Shabbat, and now we're in a whole new week.  But I didn't post something about Thanksgiving last week, so perhaps you'll indulge me...

I didn't post, because I was on the road with my daughter, Ma'ayan, visiting friends for the holiday.  The friends happen to live in Las Vegas, and since I'd never been there in my life (incredible as that may sound), we decided to sample life on The Strip including a couple of the famous Las Vegas shows.

At one of the latter, Olivia Newton-John's Summer Nights show at the Flamingo, we were seated at a table with a Canadian gentleman and got to talking with him before the show.  Of course, Thanksgiving is a holiday unique to the USA; Canadians do not celebrate it along with us.  Our tablemate was curious about the American custom of travelling home to celebrate it with family.  Is it considered an important imperative?  Canadians do likewise on Christmas; do Americans also do it then?

I told him that, as we're Jewish, we just let Christmas go by quietly.  But my impression regarding fellow Americans who are not Jewish is that Thanksgiving is more for extended family, while Christmas is more for travelling (to someplace warm, unless you're a fanatic Coloradoan who insist on heading to the slopes for Christmas skiing).

(By the way, I did resist the instinct to make a joke about Jews eating Chinese food on Christmas, and therefore open that chestnut.  Although it worked well for Elena Kagan at her confirmation hearing for US Supreme Court Justice, our Canadian tablemate was an ethnic Chinese and I didn't want to risk inadvertently insulting him somehow.  After all, in addition to sharing a table with us, he was also a guest in our country...)

Thanksgiving is generally considered a 'secular' holiday in every way, one that can bridge the many gaps that divide Americans.  Personally, I'm not sure that has been the case for a long time.  The last time I celebrated it with American expats in Australia, someone (in this case, the evening's host) chose to explain the holiday to the non-Americans at the table with the revisionist, we shared the Indians' turkey, then we committed genocide against them rap.  But these alternative histories, and people's advocacy of them at Thanksgiving table notwithstanding, the holiday has always been considered a time to put aside various ideologies and just enjoy one another's company while reveling in G-d's graciousness.  This year, however, Lefty sore losers have been instructed repeatedly by the ideologue political leaders to refuse to share fellowship with any of those evil Trump voters whose poor choice denied Hillary Clinton the Presidency which she so richly deserved.  A number of prominent Conservative talk show hosts have dedicated time in the weeks since the election to the topic of helping their listeners navigate this potential problem.

I decided to approach it head-on.  Looking around the table where we were so graciously hosted, I referred to the issue and then said: "Just to clear the air...there aren't any f**king Democrats at this table, are there?"

(It was meant as a joke, offered knowing that the family with whom we were sharing the meal were pure red.)

Jokes aside, it is unfortunate that Thanksgiving has become parochialized over time, first with revisionist narratives and then with political hard feelings.  It truly is, at the end of the day, a holiday whose message we all need - from which we can all profit.

And that message is...e pluribus, unim.  That in our diversity we can find oneness.  That the uniqueness of each individual should not be a stumbling block to our finding common groundd.  And that, finding common ground, we should celebrate it.

I'm guessing that it will be a while before I'm in the USA for Thanksgiving again.  But you can guess that I'll be combing the stores in Israel for all the ingredients for the meal. (How to make a pareve green bean casserole?  I'll be experimenting with that one...)  And tuning up the ukulele to play and sing 'Alice's Restaurant.'  And enjoying a meal in the shadow of G-d's blessings with friends and family, American expats or not.

And now, I must make last-minute preparations for my trip to Israel.  I fly to Newark tomorrow morning, and from there to Ben Gurion on Tuesday afternoon.  I'll arrive in Israel, G-d willing, on Wednesday morning.  I hope to be awake enough to post some thoughts soon afterward!

Getting On With Life; a Thought for Parashat Chayei Sarah

Burial of Sarah; woodcut by Gustav Dore

Many years ago, I lived in Greece, as I was stationed there during my service in the US Navy.  An unavoidable part of the visual landscape there, is the many older women who perpetually wear black.  This is the widow’s dress; when a woman has been widowed – and due to a combination of men marrying women younger than themselves, and women’s longer life expectancies, there are few widowers – she puts on black clothing and dressed in that manner for the rest of her life.  It is supposed to be a badge of honor, a visual reminder of the widow’s respected and protected status.

In this week’s Torah reading, in Parashat Chayei Sarah, Abraham buries his wife Sarah and then immediately afterward sets to the task of finding a wife for his son, Isaac.  This models the principle of paying due respect to the dead, of working through the grief one experiences from the loss, and then getting on with life.  In modern Jewish funerary practice, once widowed a man is allowed – some would say, expected – to marry again once the thirty days’ period of mourning has passed.  For a woman, it can be a bit longer; if she is capable of bearing a child, she should wait until there’s no possibility that she is pregnant by her dead husband.  That way, any child born will not face an uncertain patrimony.  The reasoning behind the allowance to re-marry quickly is that one should not have to bear life without the companionship of a wife or husband.  Whether for a spouse, a sibling or even one’s child, Jewish law mandates a 30-day period of mourning.  Then life should continue, as much as possible, in the face of the loss.  One returns to one’s business and other obligations. 

(For a parent, there are aspects of mourning that continue for a year – this out of respect for the person who gave you life and raised you to adulthood.)

There is no shortage of examples of those who cannot seem to return to a sense of normalcy after their loss.  Especially after the death of one’s child.  There is no denying that having to bury one’s offspring represents a complete overturning of the expected order of things.  I have known people who have lost a child and have never recovered, no matter how many years pass.  Even if the ‘child’ was sixty when survived by their parent.  I have learned over time that there is nothing I can say or do, to ease the pain that accompanies such a loss.  The only thing that a rabbi, or a friend or relative can do is be present for that person.

In Abraham’s case, returning to life after his loss meant seeing to the task of finding a wife for Isaac.  In this case, he delegated the task to his trusted servant Eliezer.  He dispatched the servant to Haran, the city from which he had begun his quest for Canaan, to find a wife from among his father’s relatives.

In Near Eastern cultures, it is common, and considered preferable, to marry within one’s family.  Jewish law permits marrying a first cousin.  Abraham at this point is living among idolatrous Canaanites.  Even if his family back in Haran are also idolaters, at least they are family.  Today, of course, it is unusual among most groups of Jews to marry such a close relative.  This is in recognition of the benefit of ‘widening the gene pool’ to reduce the chances of genetic disorders.

That Abraham chose to end his mourning with the specific task of finding and securing a wife for Isaac, makes it especially clear that he was making a statement about putting his life back on track in the face of his loss.  Later, once Isaac and Rivka are married, Abraham himself marries his second wife, Keturah, and has five more children.

It is important to properly mourn and pay respect to those who have gone on to the next world.  And part of the mourning process is to return to a normal life, as much as it is possible, without an undue delay.  This is an important way that we show our faith in the redeeming aspect of life.

Thoughts on Moving to Israel

Last week – it was Wednesday, as a matter of fact, the day after the election – I took my bicycle to a local shop to have it boxed for shipping to Israel.  When I explained what I was doing, two people in the shop smirked about my leaving the country as soon as Mr. Trump was elected.  I didn’t feel obligated to explain to these perfect strangers that I was actually happy about the election results.  But I began to reflect on the fact that my decision to live in Israel has confused some of my friends.  After all, I have spent 28 years of my life in the service of the United States, wearing the uniforms of the US Navy and Air Force.  I thought an explanation of this new development was warranted.

My first trip to Israel was in 1987, right after the loss of the EA-3B ‘Ranger 12’ off the USS Nimitz.  I was sent to the USS JFK for a planned operation that, by the time I reached the ship from my station in Athens, Greece, was cancelled so that the ship made a port visit in Haifa the day after I arrived on board.  Not long afterward, I took my first personal trip to Israel as a tourist.  Of course I was instantly enchanted as many diaspora Jews are when they first visit Israel.  I could speak decent Hebrew and therefore found myself able to experience the land on a deeper level than the typical tourist.

In 1991, having left the Navy to study to become a rabbi, I found myself returning to Israel:  this time to live and study in Jerusalem for a year.  During the course of the year, I became engaged to, and Married, my wife Clara who is a native Israeli.  Although she would have been happy to remain in Israel and for me to complete my studies and pursue a career there, at the time I preferred to return to the US, finish school, and then serve as a military chaplain.  She agreed to follow me wherever my calling took me, while saying – and reminding me periodically since – that her heart would always be in Israel.

In the summer of 2015, our son Eyal made Aliyah (ie, became an immigrant), specifically out of a desire to serve in the Israeli Army.  He is now completing the first year of that service.

As our time in Australia wound down, I decided that this would be a good time for us to finally make the move to Israel.  With our son there, and with Clara’s mum getting on in years – my mother passed away recently – perhaps it would be a good time to relocate.  Although I did – and do – feel the pull of living in the USA also, I decided to go live in Israel.

So the personal decision had little to do with ideology.  But since you asked about ideology…

I do not believe that every Jew should feel obligated to live in Israel.  Many do, and some of those actually take the big step of Aliyah (immigration).  It is not an easy decision to implement.  Many of these olim (immigrants) eventually return to their countries of origin as it isn’t easy to establish oneself in a new country.  But many persevere, and find that their lives in Israel are totally satisfying – not least, from a standpoint of Jewish religious life which is ingrained into the rhythms of life there.

I do believe that every Jew should feel obligated to be connected with Israel through visiting, cultivating relationships with Israelis, and activism on the Jewish state’s behalf.  For some Jews, these activities lead to a decision to make Aliyah, and for others they do not.

Jews of most nationalities can establish Israeli citizenship without giving up citizenship in their country of birth.  That’s certainly true of Americans.  There are approximately 200,000 US citizens living in Israel.  Most maintain strong ties with the US through family, friends, commerce, and political activity such as voting in US elections.  In the city where I’ll be living, Ashkelon, there is a lively English-speaking community, many of which are olim from America.

Throughout my rabbinate, I have been teaching the principle that every Jew should be connected to Israel.  Of course, thanks to family ties, I’ve not found it difficult to establish and maintain such a connection.  Now my making Aliyah, while motivated more by family concerns than ideology, fits in well with the ideology that I’ve been propounding for 20 years.  Let the adventure begin!

Not-so-random Thoughts a Week After the 'Tsunami'

Violent demonstrations follow Trump victory

It was a long campaign:  brutally long!  No, it wasn’t any longer than any other presidential election campaign in recent decades.  But it seemed longer.  And to be honest, one reason it seemed longer and more grueling this time was the anger and frustration of many voters.  The anger and frustration among a conservative constituency that propelled Donald Trump to the Republican nomination and ultimately the presidency.  And the anger and frustration among a liberal constituency that ‘almost’ denied the Democratic nomination to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.  It was a campaign that saw many voters on the Right backing Mr. Trump because they saw him as the Lesser of Two Evils, and many voters on the Left backing Secretary Clinton because they saw her as the Lesser of Two Evils.  Voting for the Lesser of Two Evils in an election is nothing new.  What seemed new this time was the passion with which voters backed the one whom they saw as the lesser of two evils.  That such a huge block of American voters passionately backed a Lesser-of-Two-Evils candidate, shows that they see their country as mortally damaged, and saw this election as being a pivotal event in their hopes to roll back the damage before it becomes irreparable.

I have to say that Donald Trump was my Lesser-of-Two-Evils.  Of the 17 Republicans seeking the nomination at the beginning, for me he was among the three least favorites of the field.  It wasn’t that I saw him as the toxic, misogyinist-racist-antisemite-islamophobe that the Left-leaning mainstream media have tried to make him.  That’s a lot of nonsense.  Rather, that I wondered if his brash style, his tendency to speak extemporaneously in terms certain to offend many, and his complete lack of the government experience that would, by conventional measure translate to success in the nation’s highest office.  Personally, I was routing for Marco Rubio.  But as Rubio and others fell by the wayside, it became apparent that the Republican voters wanted Trump to represent them in the race for the White House.  To me, Trump seemed far preferable to either Hillary Clinton, or Bernie Sanders – as if he ever had a chance.

But along the way, a couple of things happened that made me see Trump in a more favorable light.

First, it became clear that what he was saying, and what the Left and its media allies asserted that he was saying, were often two different things.  If one watched the actual footage of Trump with an open mind, it was easy to see that the criticisms of what he’d said usually didn’t ring true.

Second, members of the Republican ‘establishment’ began turning against him.  I don’t mean his opponents in what had turned into a long, soften-nasty campaign for the Republican nomination.  I mean other prominent Republicans such as Mitt Romney, George H.W. Bush, and some in the conservative media including the editors of the highly-respected National Review.  When they began vocally opposing Trump – even after he had won the nomination and was now, like it or not, the party’s standard-bearer – it lent more credence to something that Trump and many of his supporters had been saying from the start.  That the Republican establishment really had more in common, in terms of its power bases, with the Democratic Party’s own establishment, then either had in common with their respective constituencies.  And this was at the root of the upheavals that were happening in both parties; this sense that both parties' power centers had no particular concern for the individual voter. 

To most Americans – whether they be Democrats, Republicans or independents – last Tuesday’s election was seen as having been quite decisive.  Trump won 306 Electoral College votes as opposed to Clinton’s 232.  Additionally, although Clinton was initially seen as having won the popular vote by about 400,000, as late mail-in’s are counted it appears that Trump has also won the popular vote:  by over half a million.  Therefore, most Americans of various political persuasions have accepted the election’s results and now look forward to seeing what the 45^th President will be able to achieve.  And the bar is high, given that he will control both houses of Congress.

But the riots that have broken out in various US cities since the election, protesting that the vote went the way it did, do not bode well for the hope that the country will now unite and move forward.  On the other hand, there is ample evidence that these riots are not the spontaneous outbursts of political passion that the media paint them as.  In newspapers and online lists such as Craig’s List in cities all over the land, adverts for young people to join the riots – with pay! – are attracting those looking for an adventure and a bit of cash.  And those ads are being traced back to a for-profit auxiliary of Planned Parenthood, and the organization moveon.com.  And when you think of it, that’s no surprise given that the President-elect and the new Republican Congress have made on of their early goals…taking Planned Parenthood off the federal dole.  It is therefore in Planned Parenthood’s interest to destabilize the new administration before it even takes office.  But there is something far more powerful than Planned parenthood and moveon.com behind the whole thing.  Since I'm not a conspiracy-monger, I'll leave speculation to others, but it is easy to smell something large and sinister there.

The rioters aside, there are certainly many sincere Americans who are disappointed in the election’s results.  I would recommend that they quiet down, understand that the sky isn’t falling, and see what happens in the near future.  As I said, I’m optimistic even though Mr. Trump was far from my first choice.  I’m ready to give him time to put together an administration and begin the tough work of tackling America’s problems.  But please President-elect Trump, don’t take too much time!  And somehow, I don’t think he will.

Bargaining with G-d: a Thought for Parashat Vayera, Genesis chapter 18

Last week I referred to Abraham's 'bargaining with G-d' in this week's Torah reading.  We see it in chapter 18 of Genesis, from verses 16 through 33.  G-d decides to tell Abraham that He is about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gemorrah because of their grievous sins.  He decided to tell Abraham not to consult with him, but because He has chosen Abraham and his offspring to come, for a special blessing to bring tzedakah (often translated 'charity') and mishpat (translated 'justice') to the world.  Some of the classical commentators believe that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, specifically, is that they forbid the offering of hospitality to famished strangers, who end up dying surrounded by affluent inhabitants who then, after the travelers have starved to death, rob their corpses of any valuables.  In other words, they behave in a way that is the polar opposite of the way we have just seen Abraham behave in the beginning of this chapter when he rushes to offer hospitality to three angels disguised as passers by.

Although G-d was informing Abraham of what he was about to do, not consulting with him, Abraham immediately began to try to dissuade G-d from his sentence against the two cities.  Reasoning that a Just G-d would not destroy the Good with the Evil, through a conversation that sounds like a Middle Eastern shopper negotiating price with a shopkeeper, Abraham bargains with G-d to the point where Hashem agrees that He would not destroy the cities if ten good men could be found.  Having reached that point, Abraham walks away, thinking he has secured the safety of the cities, but he hasn't at all.

Our tradition does not see this bargaining as a sign of disrespect on Abraham's part.  In fact, it views Abraham's having expressed his concern for the good people who might be found in Sodom and Gomorrah, to his merit.  Several of the commentators contrast this concern with Noah's apparent lack of concern; when G-d revealed to Noah that He was going to destroy the world and all thereon, Noah simply turns-to to build the Ark and save himself and his family.  (Genesis 6:13-22)  Some people of faith look at the notion of bargaining with G-d as anathema.  For example, Mahatma Ghandi famously stated:  "A man of faith does not bargain or stipulate with G-d."  And this describes Noah's action:  Noah did not bargain with G-d, but simply accepted His decree.  But Abraham, in contrast, took G-d to task, albeit respectfully, indicating a greater concern as well as a compassion for others.

From this we learn the important lesson that it is important to have compassion for others, and to work on their behalf, even when they are wicked and we ultimately cannot save them from the consequences of their wickedness.